Pastors and churches must not run from a major trauma in our culture: sexual assault. But what to do to help and not hurt?. Here's good counsel, including ask the right questions, don't ask the wrong ones, and refer. What to do when your counselee confides, mentioning abuse? You must decide, is there a "duty to warn"? Authorities, of course. It's easy to get sexual abuse issues wrong. As well, bad counseling can make things worse, here and here. Concerned about confidentiality and reporting issues? This is helpful.
Recommended reading: Sexual Abuse: Beauty for Ashes. Rid of my Disgrace. And Understanding Sexual Abuse.
When sexual abuse happens in a church, here. Includes ACT NOW!